Liar's Mailbag, January to April 2005
Below you will find a few gems from the DisneyLies.com e-mail box, some of which have been edited at our whim.
April 15, 2005
Yes those e-mails were right shrek is made by dreamworks take a look at the start of the film! it says clearly on the box DREAMWORKS SKG and aty the start of the film -great sight thou
Response: Thanks for the update. Thou art great as well.
April 13, 2005
Reader Ryan Painter sent us his idea for fixing up DCA. We'll pass it along to Disneyland Resort management at our first opportunity.
Here's my idea to turn Disney California Adventure into "Disney/Pixar present Disney's Pixar Adventure©"! Between A Bug's Land, It's Tough to be a Bug, the new Monster's Inc attraction, and the Pixar Block Party show, it's already halfway there!
A Bug's Land/Flik's Fun Fair
Keep the same.
Grizzly Peak -- Turned into "Disney/Pixar presents Camp You-Got-A-Friend-In-Me"
The Toy Story characters are taking a camping trip, and you're invited! Of course, Grizzly River Rapids will make way for "Disney/Pixar present Woody's© Wild River Rapids," although due to budget cuts, this means painted cardboard flats through most of the ride, with unpainted cardboard flats filling up the scenery. Guests can also embark on the "Disney/Pixar presents Toy Story Trail," a fun new way to meet and greet Toy Story characters.
Pacific Wharf and Condor Flats becomes "Disney/Pixar presents The Incredibles Superhero City"
Guests can eat at Incredibles-themed restaurants, shop at Incredibles-themed boutiques, use Incredibles-themed restrooms, and look at (but not enter) Incredibles-themed buildings! The big E-Ticket (and by E-Ticket, I mean the only actual ride in this area) is "Disney/Pixar presents Incredibly Soaring," an action-packed thrill ride that re-creates the flight sequence from the Disney/Pixar movie.
The Bay Area and Golden Vine Winery become "Disney/Pixar presents Cars Land"
Who else but Disney/Pixar would put an Autopia clone through a winery? And who can forget to include the evocative Golden Dreams film, which has now been replaced with a Nascar lounge. Until the movie is released, expect this area to be a holding area for other temporary Disney/Pixar projects, like the original "Disney/Pixar presents Club Buzz" stage show.
Paradise Pier becomes "Disney/Pixar presents Nemo's Undersea World"
Guests who usually start the day off with California Screamin' are in for a shock when they enter the queue for "Disney/Pixar presents Crush's© Jet Stream Blast©!" Okay, maybe if you're kids are a little too young for that, check out the new "Disney/Pixar presents Bruce the Shark's© Golden Submarine" ride (formerly Golden Zephyr). And what day would be complete without "Disney/Pixar presents Dory's© Muholland Madness" (yeah it's not original, so sue me). (Don't actually sue me).
Hollywood Pictures Backlot becomes "Disney/Pixar presents Monstopolis"
Enter through the gates to the enormous new land devoted to Disney/Pixar's Monsters Inc. Check out the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, now "Disney/Pixar presents Monsters Inc. Terror Tower." Drop in on the Monsters Inc. academy at the former Playhouse Disney stage show, now "Disney/Pixar presents Monsters Inc. School for Monsters," sure to please any Disney/Pixar fan who doesn't know better.
March 28, 2005
do u ppl enjoy ruining lives??? find a better hobby by the way, get our anger it's sad.....take care
Response: So far as we know, yours is the first life we've ruined. Apparently DisneyLies.com scored a direct hit on the spelling center of your brain. Sorry about that.
March 20, 2005
"Disney was, in fact, freeze dried and to this day attends corporate board meetings in that form."
what are you saying here? is that supposed to be a joke?
March 20, 2005
All these haters must be stupid asses. Its hilarious to read these messages like:
Tell me they don't seriously think that you were trying to get the lyrics right. LMAO! I love Disney, but these people don't get it! "Get your facts straight before you begin to harp on something that went above and beyond to make an effort to make the world seem better if only for the few hours your in the parks." Don't they get it? They just sound like little preppy bitches when they say crap like that. But some of these people piss me off!:
First off, everyone knows Eisner is a giant ass. And I suppose it's OK to have the opinion that he's helped the company (Although statistically he's run it into the ground) but when you say Walt Disney sucked... Oh, bitch! That's when I get mad! No one says Walt Disney did a bad job without me getting mad. Maybe this person forgets that, without Walt, Eisner would be a hobo in a box (No offense to the poster who most certainly is writing that from a public library computer and does indeed live in a box) where he belongs.
I love your site AND Disney but all these preppy geeks seem to not get that they need to develop a sense of humor. I still can't even imagine what kind of person would be offended because you make people laugh with completely original material?!?
March 15, 2005
the rumor about the singing busts in the haunted mansion is incorrect. the bust that looks like walt disney is NOT him. it is actually Thurl Ravenscroft, one of the singers who helped make the song played thru the ride. is IS NOT walt.
Response: Wow -- we don't know where you get your facts, but it certainly isn't here.
March 8, 2005
do you really think that it is fair that someone who has never watched espn should have to pay for it? i have heard that these are the most exspensive channels on cable and that it is in the contract with carriers that espn can not be a seperate package therby making every subscriber pay for the service even if they never watch! i know many people in this situation and we all agree that disney ows us money! i always thought disney was a company with a heart, i guess i was wrong.Response: You think that's bad -- we hear that Disney will soon be requiring anyone who goes on a vacation anywhere to spend at least a day in Disney World. Are they powerful or what?
February 28, 2005
Subject: Haunted Mansion Lyrics
First off if youre going to blow on someone lyrics, make sure you get the lyrics right. i read through the first paragraph and i saw many incorrections. second, it's disney you bonehead. no one wants it to make sense. it was intended to get you get think of something other than reality and just to get you to smile. that was disneys thing. he hated to see people sad and frowning. so get your facts straight before you begin to harp on something that went above and beyond to make an effort to make the world seem better if only for the few hours your in the parks.
February 15, 2005
Why do you make fun if Michael Eisner? He made Disney what it is today! He earns every sent of his salary with hard work, even though he is hated by itiots like you!!! If it weren't for Michael Eisner Disney would still be making stupid movies like the Black Coulderon and there wouldn't be new Disney parks all over the world for people to enjoy. Eisney has made more movies than Walt Disney did when he was alive, and most of Eisner's movies like Finding Nemo made more money than any of Walt Disney's films! Did Snow White make a billion dollars when it came out? No, but Lion King did!!!
Look at what else Eisner did with Disneyland tha twas better. Walt Disney didn't buy enough land for Disneyland, but Eisner bought miles and miles of Paris! Walt Disney didn't built Space Mountain, he built the stupid house of tomorrow! Walt Disney didn't build California Adventures, he built a parking lot! Walt Disney didn't build Indiana Jones, he made Song of the South because he hated black people!
Michael Eisner is a great businessman. He got rid of executives when he had to, even if it meant having to spend millions, all for the better of the company. He stepped down as chairman of the board when those idiots at Save Disney whined, just to keep the peace, and didn't even ask for a cut in salary! Michael Eisner is a great businessman, and now that he feels like retiring I hope they can only find someone as good as him to replace him. That will keep Disney great!
February 6, 2005
Don't make fun of Disney. You are a vagina or a dick, which ever.
February 5, 2005
Do you know about a Disney animated movie agent's phone number so I can call a Disney animated movie agent?
Response: To our knowledge, Disney doesn't use animated agents (aside from the one in the late, lemented Superstar Limo). If you have a script you'd like to send to the Walt Disney Studios, however, just stick it in an envelope and mail it. They love it when people do that! If they return it with a note saying it was not read, don't believe a word of it. Just wait a few years for the movie to come out (it will only have a vague resemblance to your script, but you'll recognize it) and start the intellectual property theft lawsuit rolling!
Want more lies?
Get the book!