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Liar's Mailbag, late June 2005 to present

Below you will find a few gems from the DisneyLies.com e-mail box, some of which have been edited at our whim. More recent correspondence are posted to the DisneyLies blog.

September 9, 2005

Your article about The Lion King contains complete lies! Except for the part about the ants, ant eaters, and the gopher. That's my favorite movie! I can't believe you! First of all, Jonathon Taylor Tomas plays Simba's voice, Simba's uncle's name is Scar, not Scarface, Scar never said, "You wanna [fight] with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friends!", AND Hakuna Matata means, "No worries"! Do you have something against Disney or The Lion King, or something?! Oh, yea, one more thing, I don't think other TLK fans will enjoy this either.

Reply: Thanks for the note. We'll fix the bits about the ants, anteaters, and gopher.

September 2, 2005

Hi! Love the site, although in that part about Shrek you forgot to comment on Donkey's disturbing relationship with the dragon. Although some things are best left unsaid.

August 29, 2005

all those characters in disneylaand they are really advice all the great things to watch is fanastmic it was the best i think its bad totally i think its great.

Reply: Um -- sure!

August 21, 2005

I was reading your history of Walt Disney and I have found the very first line completely wrong. He was NOT born in Chicago in 1901, despite what you may read, the truth is that he was born in a small town called Goderich in Ontario, Canada. He later became an American citizen and opened one of the largest omnimedia companies ever.

Reply: The location of Walt's birth remains under contention because his mother was aboard a dirigible during her long labor and subsequent delivery. During that time, the airship traveled across the U.S./Canadian boarder, giving baby Walt dual citizenship. You are correct, however, that it was a Goderich blimp.

August 18, 2005

im just going to say this straight out.. yer site sucks.. like 1st of all theres no point to it.. anyone who would "visit" it would say wut a piece of crap it is.. also, i really hate the way you put space mountain.. it is found that Rockit Mountain is definately a lie, i will give you that.. but every way you put everything is just horrible and sad.. i hope more people tell you how sorry yer life is for making this site.. [NAUGHTY WORD] YOU and i hope you die.. ;), btw im not kidding yer site really is a joke.. thanks. Fags

Reply: Sorry, we had a little difficulty understanding your e-mail, so we ran it through the online babelfish language translator (slacker -> English). Here's what we got:

I have to tell you that, without mincing words, your site took my breath away. It is pointless to say that it is #1 although anyone reading it would say it is at least #2. I'm disappointed with where you put Space Moutain, and the fact that Rockit Mountain is not real is my gift to you. The things you write on your site make me terribly sad, and I hope I am not the only person who realizes how much you must have suffered making this site. I wish I could make love with you and be with you until the end of your days. In all seriousness, your site is really humorous. Thank you. Fags.

Gosh, thanks for the nice note! (We could have done without the "fags" thing, though.)

August 13, 2005

oon lion king on one scene when dust flies in the air it spells out sex if u look closely

Reply: Okay, we're seeing a running theme in our e-mail of late. Can people get their minds out of the gutter for a moment? Please? And while we're at it, what's an "oon"?

August 10, 2005

How old do you have to be when you get in the fun stuff?cause e-mail me on [impossible e-mail address deleted].

Reply: You have to be at least 18 years old before you can help us research a response to the August 2 question.

August 6, 2005

The Lion King isn't based on Hamlet at all. It's stolen from a 60's cartoon from china called "Kimba the White Lion". The Pilot episode for this show contains several of the elements that made the Lion King famous, such as the Sunrise over the savanna, the father of kimba was killed by hunters, and Timon and Pumba were rats that kimba met on a boat after being taken from his home. This cartoon was among the first chinese cartoons to come to america.

Reply: Sorry, but we find it hard to believe that a studio that created such original films as Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs would even be tempted to make a film based on someone else's work.

August 6, 2005

"Home on the Range" sounds a lot like the George Orwell book "Animal Farm". The entire book was a satire on the Russian Communist government using animals that revolted against their owner, and created a new government using the same rules you mentioned. I haven't seem this movie, but from what you said it's similar to the book in several ways.

August 4, 2005

I would like a job driving around your park in a goofy car. Can this be accomplished?

Reply: Sure! Just buy a Ford Fiesta, paint it pink and yellow, and drive it toward Disneyland. Get off the 5 freeway at Disneyland Drive, turn left onto Ball Road, turn right on South Harbor Boulevard, turn right on West Katella Avenue, turn right on Disney Drive, turn right on Ball Road, turn right on South Harbor Boulevard, etc.

August 2, 2005

"Where would the best place be to sneak in a quickie with the wife, girlfriend or both?" My vote is Abraham's Hall of Presidents Tour, or I could be wrong now.

Reply: Sorry to take so long to get back to you on this, but we have been visiting the park frequently to research an answer. We're going to keep testing options, and hopefully have a definitive response up on our site in a few more months. So far, we can tell you that bad options include the Rafts to Tom Sawyer Island (too crowded), "it's a small world" (too creepy), and Abraham's Hall of Presidents Tour (we couldn't find it).

While we're at it, we'd like to thank your wife and girlfriend for their assistance with our research. They've been very helpful!

July 26, 2005

love your website i got a question is there anything your going to do on the disney annversy o ya im only 11 i went to disney world june so please answer my question

Reply: Unfortunately, we completely forgot about Disneyland's anniversary. (We thought it was on May 5, just like everyone in Disney management.)

July 26, 2005

Do you have any Disney dollar can supply to me, please contact me

Reply: We sure do! Disney dollars ($1 denomination only) are available through DisneyLies.com for just $2.50 apiece, plus postage, with a minimum order of 1,000.

July 17, 2005

I have 2 disney lithographs singen walt disney productions I can't identify . they are of child like indians and done in a very bright color scheme.. could you help if you saw them?

Reply: Sorry, but DisneyLies.com can't help you identify Disneyana based solely on descriptions or photographs. If you will send us your valuable item, we will confirm that it is indeed the item you sent us, forward you a curt thank you letter, and then place the item on eBay and keep the proceeds so that you don't have to worry about return shipping or inconvenient additional taxable income.

July 17, 2005

can you please put more things on here because its kind of boring

Reply: No.

July 12, 2005

Some inside info... Enrage-ineers are keeping this hush-hush, but there have been an unusual number of groin injuries due to animatronic rock malfuntions. Be careful out there.

July 2, 2005

Contrary to popular belief, you do not suck. Your information regarding 1943 copper pennies is accurate. In the late 80's I was employed by Disney as one of the pooper-scoopers who follows The Little mermaid as she makes her rounds around The Magic Kingdom. (I worked the day shift at Disneyworld, and the night shift at Disneyland.) We were paid by dipping a magnet on a string into a narrow-mouth jar, full of said pennies. We got to keep all pennies that stuck to the magnet.

Keep up the good work, I get most of my news from your site

June 30, 2005

I had a thought, on the statue "Partners" why didn't Eisner include himself behind Walt, giving him the pillow pirates of the Carribean treatment?

Reply: We looked up the "pirates of the Caribbean treatment" and discovered that it is a variation of a Brazilian wax. You're disgusting!

June 28, 2005

Wow, this site is*&%$ing weird. First i was like "what the heck? is this @$%# real?" but then i realize that its a bunch of sarcastic #@!*. Well it was sarcastically *&$%#@ enough for me to waste 20 minutes on your site. Congratulations. [Letter edited to avoid a Congressional investigation.]

June 27, 2005

CLOSE DOWN PETER PAN MY MOM HAD TO WAIT TWO HOURS PLUS BREAKDOWNS

Reply: If your mom's breakdowns are causing line delays at Disneyland, we suggest seeking the help of a mental-health professional.

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396 Pure, Unadulterated, Dyed-In-The-Wool, 100% Made-Up, Completely Fake Disneyland "Facts"
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396 Pure, Unadulterated, Dyed-In-The-Wool, 100% Made-Up, Completely Fake Disneyland "Facts"
Get another book!