Disneyland Resort

Classifying Naughtiness

Because of its size, complexity, and prolifera of dark rides and hidden hideaways, the Disneyland Resort offers far more opportunities for the unrestrainably amorous than less libidinous guests might imagine.

Although it's kept carefully under wraps, Disneyland management is well aware of this problem. For purposes of internal documentation, Disney uses a series of code words to indicate the level of an "incident" if it is detected. These codes are as follows:

Toontown: Mild exhibitionism -- a woman lifting her shirt briefly so that she can be photographed in front of the Mickey floral display would be an example of a "Toontown incident." Disney security will insist that digital photographs of this type of behavior be erased, and will confiscate traditional film of flashing (pictures are developed and kept in a big book backstage for training purposes). Motion pictures and videotapes are also confiscated and saved for the end-of-year cast party.

Main Street: Simple snuggling or kissing. This is generally tolerated so long as it's not really blatant (e.g., standing in the middle of the castle drawbridge and necking without coming up for air).

Adventureland: More serious stuff. Hands in naughty places and that kind of thing. May involve pieces of clothing being ejected. Guests caught in an Adventureland situation run the risk of being thrown out of the park or, in cases where particularly poor judgment in terms of location was exercised on the part of participants, having their parents called.

Fantasyland: This is when a guest tries to put the moves on a cast member. For example, walking up to Snow White, grabbing her, and giving her a big wet kiss on the lips while your husband takes a picture would be a Fantasyland incident. Begging Mickey Mouse to fulfill you as a woman would also be included. Depending on the nature of the incident, the guest could be warned, ejected from the park, laughed at, or simply pitied.

Tomorrowland: Incidents between Disney cast members or between a cast member and a consenting guest. These are referred to as "Tomorrowland incidents" because "You're going to looking for work tomorrow." Even though these are the most common incidents in the parks, they are only infrequently reported because coworkers tend to look the other way (or if they don't look the other way, they at least "look the other way" -- if you know what we mean).

Frontierland: About as naughty as it gets. Your mother would cry if she found out, and she probably will after the Disneyland security videos appear on the Internet.

Critter Country: You don't want to know.

It is rumored that a complete collection of particularly scandalous incident reports will be released by Hyperion Press later this year. We can't wait to read it!

At DisneyLies.com, we don't classify naughty incidents using this system, but by where the occurred. Since the locations have the same names as the codes Disney uses internally, this may get kind of confusing. We prefer it that way, but to keep yourself sane, you may want to just forget that you ever saw these codes.

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