DisneyLies.com

Disneyland

Splash Mountain

January 1989

It's not clear what made Disney think it could get away with basing a ride on The Song of the South -- the most reviled of its feature films (it actually caused a brief military uprising in Bolivia) -- but they did. To this day, mobs of protesters will descend upon the ride queue at unpredictable times, handing out leaflets and waving protest signs, until park security escorts them off the premisis or clubs them into submission. DisneyLies managed to speak with one protester about the issue at hand before he was jetissoned from the park. "It's about freedom, man," he said, "it's about justice. They can't go and just make a film like this that glorifies oppression of minorities and then not release it on video except for as a damned Japanese laser disk, which has a main audio track dubbed in Japanese and is like way too big to fit in my DVD player." Said another, "I don't have to see a movie to know that it's evil, but I'd like to."

Flash Pictures

It's no secret that a hidden camera takes a picture of everyone who rides on Splash Mountain in the moment before the ride vehicle plummets down the ride's final, gigantic, 100-yard, 78-degree flume. The pictures are, after all, sold to guests as they exit the ride. It's also no secret that some female guests have lifted their shirts at appropriate moments so that the camera gets more of an eyefull than it had expected (leading to the ride being sometimes referred to as "Flash Mountain," "Titty Hill," and "That Ride Where Chicks Lift Their Shirts." A few male visitors have also stood up and dropped their pants for the camera, usually with much more spectacular (in a different way) results than their female counterparts.

I'm sure you won't be particularly shocked to learn that these pictures often are printed out by employees and kept in private scrapbooks or posted on the Internet (as are pictures of riders who are famous, incredibly ugly, freaked out to the point of hysteria, or grievously wounded.) Originally, when guests riding in a vehicle which had "experienced a clothing incident" exited the ride and looked for their photo, they were told that it hadn't turned out, when in reality it had been removed from the photo queue so that the naughty image wouldn't appear on the photo preview monitors. With the advent of high-powered computers and modern digital imaging, however, Disneyland cast members now have the ability to instantly place a digital t-shirt on the torso of any female who has not left enough to the imagination. The virtual shirt always has a picture of Mickey or Minnie Mouse on it and the word Disneyland, so if you see a Splash Mountain photo of a woman in a shirt like this, you know what she's probably been up to!

What is far less well known is that Disney takes a very, very dim view of this practice. Girls who are caught in film in all their glory are tracked down no matter where they go in the park, separated from the rest of their party, chloroformed, and whisked out of the country to be sold to white slavers. In deference to the controversy surrounding the ride's source material, women of color are not so treated (and for some reason it's mostly hyper white women doing this anyway).

Trivia: The large drop near the end of the attraction can be used as a salmon run.


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396 Pure, Unadulterated, Dyed-In-The-Wool, 100% Made-Up, Completely Fake Disneyland "Facts"
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