Massive Disneyland Attraction Database

Fervently Asked Questions

How does the Database work?

It uses computers.

How accurate is the Database?

Amazingly accurate! Information is constantly updated by our Web spiders, corporate spies, and secret automated computer infiltration techniques.

Why isn't the information on a ride the same every time I read its page?

Because it changes whenever the Database system detects new facts. Any time an official Disney site adjusts its description, link bait is posted to, or some random person edits Wikipedia, the Database incorporates that data into its dynamically generated attraction report. Even these FAQs are updated automatically!

How does the Automated Schedule Planner figure out exactly, precisely when I should visit an attraction?

With computers.

Why isn't there anything about other parks?

Because it's the Massive Disneyland Attraction Database.

What should I do if I discover a mistake?

That's the beauty of it -- you won't! This is the most accurate, up-to-date Disneyland Database in existence. If for some reason you would still like to write (to send us a general question, for example), you can use the feedback form.

Why does the picture for an attraction seem to be messed up?

We have had a couple of problems with the image portion of the server. These will be fixed right after the developer's paycheck clears the bank.

How many visitors does this site get?

Plenty! For example, yesterday the Database was visited by precisely 889,921,441 unique individuals. Of today's 35,644, you are #725.

Will we ever know how Joe Fowler got all those plants?

Cannot predict now.

Is this whole thing a joke?

No. Well -- maybe.

We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disneyland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your time.