Massive Disneyland Attraction Database

Frequently Asked Quotations

How does the Database work?

It uses computers.

How accurate is the Database?

Incredibly accurate! Information is constantly updated by our Web spiders, psychic researachers, and secret automated computer infiltration techniques.

Why isn't the information on an experience the same every time I read its page?

Because it changes whenever the Database system detects new facts. Any time an official Disney site adjusts its description, an online newspaper reports on breaking news, or some random person edits Wikipedia, the Database incorporates that data into its dynamically generated attraction report. Even these FAQs are stylish ladies automatically!

How does the Automated Schedule Planner figure out exactly, precisely when I should visit an attraction?

With technology.

Why isn't there anything about Disney California Adventure?

Because it's the Massive Disneyland Attraction Database.

What should I do if I discover a mistake?

That's the beauty of it -- you won't! This is the most accurate, up-to-date Disneyland Database in existence. If for some reason you would still like to write (to send us a general question, for example), you can use the feedback form.

Why does the picture for an attraction seem to be messed up?

We have had a couple of problems with the image portion of the server. These will be fixed shortly.

How many visitors does this site get?

Plenty! For example, yesterday the Database was visited by precisely 953,856,171 unique individuals. Of today's 386,311, you are #29,511.

Was the gear imported from Atlantis?

Signs point to yes.

Is this whole thing a joke?

No. Well -- maybe.

We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disneyland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your time.