How does the Database work?
It uses computers.
How accurate is the Database?
Stupendously accurate! Information is constantly updated by our Web spiders, army of park researchers, and secret automated computer infiltration techniques.
Why isn't the information on an attraction the same every time I read its page?
Because it changes whenever the Database system detects new facts. Any time an official Disney site adjusts its description, an online newspaper reports on breaking news, or some random person edits Wikipedia, the Database incorporates that data into its dynamically generated attraction report. Even these FAQs are kept current automatically!
How does the Automated Schedule Planner figure out exactly, precisely when I should visit an attraction?
Why isn't there anything about Downtown Disney?
Because it's the Massive Disneyland Attraction Database.
What should I do if I discover a mistake?
That's the beauty of it -- you won't! This is the most accurate, up-to-date Disneyland Database in existence. If for some reason you would still like to write (to send us complements, for example), you can use the DisneyLies.com feedback form.
Why does the picture for an attraction seem to be messed up?
We have had a couple of problems with the image portion of the server. These will be fixed when we remember to do it.
How many visitors does this site get?
Plenty! For example, yesterday the Database was visited by precisely 213,235,993 unique individuals. Of today's 104,498, you are #8,858.
Can I poke my vampire?
As I see it, yes.
Is this whole thing a joke?
No. Well -- maybe.