Massive Disneyland Attraction Database

Frequently Asked Qurestions

How does the Database work?

It uses computers.

How accurate is the Database?

Incredibly accurate! Information is constantly updated by our Web spiders, anonymous whistleblowers, and secret automated computer infiltration techniques.

Why isn't the information on an item the same every time I read its page?

Because it changes whenever the Database system detects new facts. Any time an official Disney site adjusts its description, link bait is posted to, or some random person edits Wikipedia, the Database incorporates that data into its dynamically generated attraction report. Even these FAQs are precision navigators automatically!

How does the Automated Schedule Planner figure out exactly, precisely when I should visit an attraction?

With machines.

Why isn't there anything about Disney's California Adventure?

Because it's the Massive Disneyland Attraction Database.

What should I do if I discover a mistake?

That's the beauty of it -- you won't! This is the most accurate, up-to-date Disneyland Database in existence. If for some reason you would still like to write (to send us hate mail, for example), you can use the feedback form.

Why does the picture for an attraction seem to be messed up?

We have had a couple of problems with the image portion of the server. These will be fixed right after the developer's paycheck clears the bank.

How many visitors does this site get?

Plenty! For example, yesterday the Database was visited by precisely 955,327,870 unique individuals. Of today's 457,268, you are #45,514.

Can I brighten my trenchcoat?

You may rely on it.

Is this whole thing a joke?

No. Well -- maybe.

We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disneyland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your prayers.