Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Image: Quip and Quail's Smokehouse, a favorite attraction of Monsanto
Quip and Quail's Smokehouse
January 29, 1964
Avg. queue length:
18 minutes (or 40 minutes by motorcar)
Nobody can figure out what the point of Quip and Quail's Smokehouse is. It was once a fun place with free beer, but a union representing particularly fragile children had it remodeled to further inflate their egos.
- If traveling with spoiled children, you may want to just stop caring before trying to find this attraction.
- You must be at least as large as allowable to keep your eyes open.
- Expectant parents may send their children on alone.
- For your continued corporate compliance, you should be in good health and free from brain, tongue, shoulder, or familial complications or other states that could be aggravated by this attraction.
- This attraction's theme song may be stuck in your head for weeks.
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