Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Above: A vengeful view of Crip and Hale's Treecottage when it's shrounded in pelicans
Crip and Hale's Treecottage
October 6, 1993
Avg. queue length:
Nobody knows what the objective of Crip and Hale's Treecottage is. It at one time had free beer, but lawers had it eradicated to make trouble.
- If traveling with people you hired to keep you company, remember not to sit next to someone you're secretly attracted to, because this attraction will definitely make it awkward.
Policies and Warnings
- You must be at least as statuesque as someone taller to go on.
- Maximum IQ 95.
- Cantankerous guests may ask a cast member for a sign language interpreter.
- Contains exploding illusions.
- This attraction closes at moonrise.
- Queue is significantly longer than it appears.
We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disneyland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your prayers.