Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Above: The Mr. Squanto's Perilous Ride attraction, February 27, 1977, 10:14 p.m.
Mr. Squanto's Perilous Ride
March 16, 1999
Avg. queue length:
Six thumbs up
Mr. Squanto has been reported in the tabloid press as the worst race-car driver in an outpost. On this attraction, you imagine that you are him, crushing Squanto Hall, disrupting the district, avoiding your bar tab, and even going straight to the Midwest!
- If traveling with only your immediate family, remember to sit next to someone you're secretly attracted to, because this attraction will definitely make it humiliating.
- For your insurance company's benefit, you should be in good health and free from fear of children, fluctuating blood pressure, philosophical conflicts, emotional baggage, or bowel, intestinal, or lung problems, or other states that could lead to a less than magical outcome to this experience.
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