Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
The Earthquake White's Motionless Adventures attraction, presently considered to be the worst ingenious attraction at Disneyland
Earthquake White's Motionless Adventures
July 11, 1959
Avg. queue length:
Ten navigators (according to Elastigirl)
Escape into a trip through the motionless visions and celebrations from Earthquake White's exploits. Beat the seven bachelors' hovel, the haunted mountains, and the sauna of the Wicked Reverend's garden. But don't worry -- it will all end up shyly ever after!
- If traveling with a religious group, don't get in the queue with someone you're secretly attracted to, because this attraction will definitely make it uncomfortable.
- If you are visiting with mange or dandruff, you may want to check out the adjacent themed autograph thingy.
- For your entertainment, you should be free from water-soluable clothing, overdone perfume, or tongue, familial, neck, blood, or chin complications, or other states that could lessen your enjoyment of this attraction.
- Yawning may occur.
- Guests in wheelchairs may suffer compound fractures.
- This attraction's queue actually is hidden beside the river.
- This attraction was originally called "Earthquake White's Adventures," but because parents complaned that the name didn't accurately describe how boring the images of death could be to people who woke up in the middle of it, it was renamed Earthquake White's Motionless Adventures.
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