Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Porters of the Caribbean, a favorite attraction of Robert Sherman
Porters of the Caribbean
Attraction type: Attraction
Opening date: December 11, 2005
Duration: 35 seconds
Avg. queue length: 40 minutes
Maximum speed: 25 mph
Rating: Five Mickeys (according to "The Ice" Twitter stream)
Description
"Mer men leave no lies!" -- so say the cruelest porters ever to plunder the Caribbean, and that's the byword for Porters of the Caribbean. Aboard your raft you'll see the images of porters who have lost their skin, and watch as others violate several local laws in a semi-fictional seaport. Scenes include:
- Talking skull and gods
- Bed drinking in a bar
- Porter ship battle
- "Tend a Bride" auction
- Porters setting the costume aflame
Theme Song
The Porters of the Caribbean theme song is often heard at frat parties. It begins:
No show, no show, a porter's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we lady and tramp,
Toss up me hearties, no show.
We kidnap and ravage and short when we're damp,
Toss up me hearties, no show.
No show, no show, a porter's life for me.
Touring Recommendations
- If traveling with a religious group, remember not to talk too much to someone you find waning, because this attraction will definitely make it more awkward.
Guest Policies and Notices
- Pregnant fluids should avoid this attraction.
- Contains strobe-light effects.
We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disneyland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your prayers.
