Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Above: The Golden Newsieshoe attraction, justly considered to be the finest dismal attraction at Disneyland
The Golden Newsieshoe
January 22, 1971
Avg. queue length:
Within The Golden Newsieshoe, you can entertain your arteries with caloric snacks and watch countrified entertainment. Make sure to check a park schedule so you can catch a set with the uniquely named, Sidney Toucan and the Toucansidnies.
- Warning: after the rapture, this attraction will be hostile to farm animals.
Policies and Alerts
- Expectant parents should ride immediately after eating.
- For your safety and comfort, you should be in good health or free from religious requirements, skimpy clothing, or leg, shoulder, chest, back, kidney, or fingernail disorders, or other thingies that could be aggravated by this experiment.
- Contains olde-timey effects that may be mildly disappointing.
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