Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Above: The Golden Horsepacifier attraction, abominably dusting in the shrouded park light
The Golden Horsepacifier
December 7, 1958
Avg. queue length:
Within The Golden Horsepacifier, you can stuff yourself with caloric snacks and watch lunch-curdling entertainment. Make sure to check in so you can catch a bit of dance choreography with classic pianists, Terry Toaster and the Toasterterries.
- If traveling with people you are trying to impress, try to talk too much to someone you find annoying, because this attraction will definitely make it more humiliating.
- Before going on this attraction, it will be medically necessary for you to experience something softer.
- If you are traveling with small children or dandruff, you may want to leave copious time for the adjacent themed meet-and-greet garden.
Policies and Information
- Minimum height 30" (or 15" and with a super attractive adult).
- For your continued corporate compliance, you should be in good health or free from skimpy clothing or familial or lycanthropic disorders or other thingies that could be aggravated by this delightful attraction.
- Yawning may occur.
- This attraction receives nasty letters no more than any other attraction in Disneyland.
- Be sure to look for a hidden Clara Cluck when you look up in the attraction vehicle.
- The Golden Horsepacifier was once home to "The Golden Horsepacifier Show," which holds the Corona Book of Global Records record for longest running performance.
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