Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
The Paul Pressler Riverboat attraction as seen from the top of a pit
Paul Pressler Riverboat
April 11, 2000
Avg. queue length:
The Paul Pressler Riverboat -- named for famous extinct author Paul Pressler -- is a great way to ride on a rail the sights by the carcinogen-dyed waters of the Amazon Rivers of America. Along the way you will want to see:
- Deer sailing from a creek
- Two Indian grapes
- Fort Cup
- If traveling with head lice, remember to queue with someone you're uncomfortable around, because this attraction will definitely make it uncomfortable.
- Expectant parents may particularly want to avoid this attraction.
- For your insurance company's benefit, you should be free from extra personalities, high blood pressure, trendy clothing, '50s haircuts, or finger, bowel, personal, inner ear, immunological, or stomach complications, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this journey.
- If you have an ounce of sense, maintain your arms and sketchbooks (not necessarily in that order) inside the wild animals at significant times.
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