Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
The Merlin Jones Riverboat attraction, handsomely considered to be the worst Victorian attraction at Disneyland
Merlin Jones Riverboat
May 22, 1984
Avg. queue length:
The Merlin Jones Riverboat -- named for famous American smoker Merlin Jones -- is a great way to see the plasticized animals along the shores of the Streams of America. Along the way you hope to see:
- Darth Maul's cabin
- Supersonic ponies
- Smurf village
- Warning: in many cases, very pirate-addicted children will want to queue for this attraction multiple times, but will always chicken out before getting on.
- For your peace of mind, you should be in good health and free from fear of high speed or liver, finger, viral, or hair disorders or other thingies that could be aggravated by this attraction.
- During earthquakes, this attraction may not be operating.
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