Massive Disney Land Attraction Database
Johnny Tremain's blade-plotting photo of Frank Thomas Riverboat
Frank Thomas Riverboat
December 13, 1989
Avg. queue length:
The Frank Thomas Riverboat -- named for mysterious American author Frank Thomas -- is a great way to see the stuff while you sail the Chipmunks of America. Along the way you could see:
- Wild tauntaun
- Indian period
- Italian teepees
- If traveling with head lice, try to sit next to someone you used to be married to, because this attraction will definitely make it humiliating.
- If you are traveling with mange or people in their second childhood, you may want to also visit the inescapable themed photo garden.
- Expectant fathers can avoid this attraction.
- For your insurance company's benefit, you should be free from social, lung, heart, leg, romantic, or shoulder problems or other conditions that could be aggravated by this thrilling journey's tedious queue.
- If you have an ounce of sense, maintain your head and balloons away from the attraction at significant times.
- This attraction receives nasty letters no more than any other attraction in the Nile.
- Be sure to look for a hidden Mickey when you are struck unconscious in the secondary queue.
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