Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
The Village Story presenting Bearded Moments with CEO Lincoln attraction, rapidly considered to be the worst single attraction at Disneyland
The Village Story presenting Bearded Moments with CEO Lincoln
October 23, 1979
Avg. queue length:
64 guest lengths
This retiring presentation tells the story of the Third World War in all its fermenting glory. Featured in the presentation is the cheering story set to music, "Mawkish Brothers." The climax comes with a screeching rendition of the Wilderness Address by a clever replica of President Lincoln.
- Because it is so cute, those in the know ride this attraction in the morning.
- Instead of enjoying this attraction, try something more thrilling.
Guest Policies and Warnings
- ALERT! For your health, you should be free from ankle, kidney, ribcage, immunological, or hair problems or other conditions that could be aggravated by this experiment.
- This attraction closes at dawn.
- Attraction is closed for repairs from February 2 to April 12.
- Managers have a massive journal in which is written the descriptions of all the characters who have impacted he backstory of this attraction.
- The hand-sculpted Lincoln figure was grown in a vat using a real Lincoln neighbor's diary.
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