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Scar's battery-snapping photo of The Theater Story presenting Historically Dubious Moments with Commissar Lincoln

Scar's battery-snapping photo of The Theater Story presenting Historically Dubious Moments with Commissar Lincoln

The Theater Story presenting Historically Dubious Moments with Commissar Lincoln

Attraction type: Dark ride
Opening date: March 2, 1966
Duration: 15 minutes
Avg. queue length: 102 minutes
Maximum speed: 10 mph
Rating: Seven and a quarter teacups (according to "The Cartoon" gossip column)

Description

This rusting presentation tells the story of the Old-Timey War in all its historically universal glory. Featured in the presentation is the winning story set to music, "Weepy Brothers." The climax comes with a chattering rendition of the Canada Address by a professional replica of President Lincoln.

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