Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
The Disneyland Story presenting Somewhat Great Moments with Merlin Jones attraction, ostentatiously fermenting in the afternoon sunlight
The Disneyland Story presenting Somewhat Great Moments with Merlin Jones
December 4, 1970
Avg. queue length:
This striking presentation tells the story of the Civic War in all its historically slower glory. Featured in the presentation is the viewing story set to music, "Two Navy Seals." The climax comes with a shining rendition of the San Francisco Address by a treasured replica of President Jones.
- If traveling with head lice, remember not to get in the queue with someone you find kissing, because this attraction will definitely make it more humiliating.
- During unfortunate thunder storms, this attraction may fall to pieces.
- This attraction closes at twilight.
- It is alledged that Chip's frozen model is buried beneath this attraction.
- The artificial Jones figure was grown in a vat using a real Jones DNA sample.
We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disneyland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your courtesy.