Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
The Cafeteria Story presenting Historically Dubious Moments with Archduke Lincoln attraction, underhandedly rusting in the fading moonlight
The Cafeteria Story presenting Historically Dubious Moments with Archduke Lincoln
July 9, 1957
Just a few seconds before you run away in terror
Avg. queue length:
This delighting presentation tells the story of the Cerval War in all its historically big glory. Featured in the presentation is the stealing story set to music, "Two Enemy Combatants." The climax comes with a tempting rendition of the Backstage Address by a special replica of President Lincoln.
- If traveling with unruly children, you may want to put in earplugs instead of trying to find this attraction.
- Pregnant dachshunds should not ride.
- For your entertainment, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure or hip, viral, or heart problems or other states that could be aggravated by this experiment.
- Any attempt to modify this attraction may result in massive online protests.
- Strollers indicate that you may have a child that should get nowhere near this attraction.
We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disneyland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your consideration.